Did you know May has been designated as International Masturbation Month?! In celebration of solo sex – the most commonly practiced sexual act around the world – here are the top ten reasons I believe every man and women, regardless of age or relationship status, should make self-pleasuring a life-long activity.
1. Masturbation is the single most important thing we can do to increase sexual capability and competency. When we engage in solo sex, we learn how to respond to sexual stimuli. It enables us to learn how to tap into a deep level of erotic arousal and is one of the most beneficial ways to work through any inhibitions, guilt and fears we may have about completely surrendering to our sexual desires. Self-pleasuring teaches us how to have an orgasm. We can also learn how to reach climax more frequently and efficiently and then share that knowledge with our lover. Solo sex is also a delightful hands-on (pun intended) way to shift ourselves away from the reality of daily life into an erotic reality.
2. Masturbation can provide us with the most earth-shattering orgasms. Studies have shown that in masturbation, we have the strongest orgasms. As there are no distractions from our partner, we can easily stay focused on what arouses us and give ourselves the most pleasurable stimulation.
3. Masturbation adds another dimension to our sexual experience. Essentially, there are two kinds of sexual experiences; solo sex or partnered (social) sex. Both are gratifying and neither one is better than the other. But they are different with each having their advantages and disadvantages. With solo sex, for example, we can focus solely on your own pleasure and desires without needing to think about our partner’s wants and needs. However, with partnered sex, we have opportunity to connect intimately with our lover and share in their sexual pleasure and responses. And that will no doubt heighten our own experience of the erotic encounter.
4. Masturbation can add a spicy alternative to sexual play with our partner. Mutual masturbation with our lover is a very erotic encounter. There is something quite intimate that is shared in that experience that is much more profound than what is shared in sexual intercourse. We are permitting our partner to witness our most private sex life; the one that we usually keep out of view and hidden. Mutual masturbation is also a steamy solution during those times when we cannot engage in penetrative sex such as after the birth of a child.
5. Masturbation is practical and convenient solution for relieving sexual tension. It may not always be convenient, practical or even possible to indulge in sex with our partners. They may be away, tired or otherwise unavailable yet our very natural sexual urges and desires still need to be sated. Fortunately, masturbation offers us a practical and convenient way to release that sexual tension and since it doesn’t require our partner, there is no need for negotiation or delay.
6. Masturbation involves no relational risks. There is no concern for hurt feelings of rejection or guilt from failure to effectively please our partner. With masturbation, we have none of the complications of a relationship that can turn a sexual encounter into a negative and unrewarding experience. There is also no performance anxiety with solo sex that can sometimes be experienced with partnered sex. There is no need to fake an orgasm, no need to concern ourselves with our competency or even how we look. With masturbation, there is no fear or worry over whether we can get aroused, stay aroused or release at the right time.
7. Masturbation is an excellent stress reliever. Self-pleasuring can be as soothing as it is sensual. Everyday life can be stressful, causing an accumulation of anxieties and concerns. When we choose to leave behind these daily realities in favour of a more erotic one; something alters. The daily stresses and worries are soon replaced with erotic thoughts and fantasies putting us into a much different and more pleasant frame of mind. Many individuals; especially women like me find that masturbating just before bed helps provide the relaxation required to fall asleep.
8. Masturbation maintains our sexual health. Like a vehicle that needs regular tune ups to run optimally; so too does our sexuality. Solo sex is maintance sex. Research has proven that regular sexual play is necessary to keep our sexual system functioning properly; especially as we age.
9. Masturbation makes us feel more sensuous. One of the quickest, surest and most satisfying ways to invoke greater sensuality within ourselves is to titillate and tease our body and mind with a little self-pleasuring. When we think about masturbating, we are thinking about sex and when we think about sex we feel sexy and sensual. Solo sex allows us to discover and appreciate our sexual self. When we frequently immerse ourselves in the act of self-pleasuring; we feel sexier, more sensuous and more self-confident as a result.
10. Masturbation is one of the most pleasurable experiences we can give ourselves. We now know that there is no harm in solo sex. In fact, self-pleasuring is helpful to both our physical and psychological well-being. We would all be happier and healthier if we made masturbation a habit throughout our lifespan. I intend on doing just that…will you?
*EXTRA! Since today is Memorial Day we all should have more time to watch a couple of 15 minute TED Talks…