Did You Say Anal?

Back door , Brown eye, Brown Star, Chocolate Starfish, Corn Hole, Hershey Highway, Dirt Road, Dookie Shoot, The Church in the Valley, Butt Hole Etc…. No matter what you call it, some women declare it is EXIT ONLY… and that’s OK. However believe it or not, there are many people who have found anal play and anal sex to bring much pleasure! A lot can be used under the category of anal play: fingers, penises, tongues, toys, his or hers. Doing it in the butt used to be reserved for “birthday sex” only or special occasions but now it is becoming less taboo which is great! Some guys are just not into butt sex and that’s OK too! They will never know the pleasure of having their penis enveloped by the tight grip of a beautiful woman’s tight ass.

If you are in a relationship, it can be an exciting new thing to try. It all requires communication. If you are single it may take longer to get to the topic to ask her if she is into it, just ask her politely. You may stumble upon the answer during casual sex if you drift a little further south while going down on her it all just depends on her response. She may clench up and become rigid and ask what are you doing and that’s OK its not the end of the world as we know it….or she may say YES YES YES OH GOD YES! Just promise as a gentleman that you will never try to sneak in her back door without her permission!

You may be a rookie or you might not have knocked at her back door for a while so here are some tips/reminders.  Lube is your new best friend! You can never use too much lube! Thicker lube such as coconut oil or coconut butter is best for back door play. There are some lubes out there that are made specifically for anal play. The anus does not self lubricate like the vagina so fill her up! If you dive in like a horse in heat you will be banned from all sexual activities in the future.  Porn stars make anal look easy but you know it isn’t, so don’t think you’re doing it wrong if it doesn’t look like it does in porn. Porn stars are paid to make it look easy.

Before rump riding, start small with a pinky inserted then work your way up to a thumb then a small toy or vib then a butt plug then your pride and joy AKA  your penis. Just remember it’s not a race and if she says it hurts, either stop, use more lube or go slower! The main thing is to go very slow and follow her cues before you go balls deep! Tune in to her signals. She really has to relax and take a lot of deep breaths.  After that anal sex can be amazing! It is super intense so you need to be extremely delicate and a good listener. Sometimes when you first penetrate she may take a sharp breath, that’s normal just pause until she gives you the go ahead to start slowly pumping. Yes, it hurts so good, it feels tight, like a sharp muscle cramp, it feels full and super intense. If she changes her mind, back out very slowly. Its not a game changer just try again later when she is ready. This is not an act that should be taken lightly. You both have to want it and you both have to be ready.

For me, I like to get really worked up, as in lots of kissing, foreplay, oral and vaginal sex before attempting anal sex. I like all positions and there are several to choose from. Missionary, on your side, her laying on her belly, her sitting on your peg, lowering her self down slowly and doggie. What ever position you choose the gentlemanly thing to remember is to let her set the pace. If you choose to do it doggie, you can penetrate her pussy and massage her ass with your thumb at the same time causing her to get used to the feeling of something touching her hole. It may help her back door muscles relax and open up easier when you gently push your penis inside. Just remember to use lots of lube! Lube on you and lube on her. Lube on any toys before inserting. Use a towel under her butt to catch the drips and for clean up after the dirty deed is done.

Anal sex does take a lot of effort. If she is uptight, she may want to use an enema before attempting fudge-packing. It’s quite a process and takes away valuable time from the fun. It is not mandatory but it does help “clear the path” if she had a heavy or spicy dinner that night. It all requires patience, understanding and open communication between the couple. If you are requesting entrance to her exit hole, you should know the risk of a mess. There should not be a big clean up afterwards on you guys, especially if you wear a condom. However there is that heart stopping moment when you pull out that she is praying you don’t find an unwanted present. I recommend having baby wipes close by to wipe her clean after the big O. Even if you are an anal pro she still worries about having an accident. If you use toys it is mandatory to clean them thoroughly with hot water and soap. But toy clean up can wait until after you cuddle and share the after glow. She will get pissed off if you don’t give her the proper respect and after care. Personally I enjoy anal sex as long as it is done right. It just takes respect and patience.




2 thoughts on “Did You Say Anal?”

  1. Love it, very well written! A “professional” advice columnist couldn’t have said it better. These essays get better every time and this one is the best-written and most enjoyable column so far!

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