Oral….Sex? or Foreplay?

I love that fine distinction between the various wonderful sexual acts, and the delicious anticipation gestures of foreplay.

Setting the mood, getting one’s self and partner ready in anticipation for more. And the emotional and sexual buildup that leads to more and more and more.

Different kinds of stimulation/gratification/sexual contact are all special, even more so after a cleverly imagined and executed foreplay, that important mix is so sensual and lively!


Using your mouth to stimulate your partner’s genitals is considered one of the most intimate acts between lovers.  Women and men find it incredibly pleasurable – both as givers and receivers.  It will often bring a partner to orgasm when other methods cannot.  Therefore, contrary to the opinions of many sexperts and one former US president, oral pleasuring is indeed sex and not merely a method of foreplay.

Foreplay, by definition, consists of those intimate emotional and physical interactions between two (or more) lovers meant to generate sexual desire and arousal. Its entire purpose is to entice and excite one another sexually BEFORE the genitals are even touched.

Since foreplay is about building sexual interest and tension but without genital contact, it can begin the moment we open our eyes in the morning and last the entire day. Depending on our partner’s erotic preferences, foreplay can include any of the following stimulations.

Visual Cues – sending sexy photos, a striptease performance, the wearing of sexually suggestive clothing or creating an intimate, romantic or sensually appealing atmosphere are all ways we can visually arouse our lover.

Verbal Cues – compliments, subtle innuendo, flirting, teasing and intimate conversations either in person or by phone are all forms of verbal foreplay.

Behavioral Cues – a seductive smile or wink, suggestive postures, gestures and movements, licking or biting of one’s lips, eye gazing and entering inside a lover’s personal space can convey sexual intent and raise a lover’s libido.

Physical Cues – the touching, kissing, licking or nibbling of non-genital erogenous zones as well as hugging, cuddling or the removal of a lover’s clothing are all physical ways that we can engage in foreplay.


Ultimately, the point of foreplay is to provoke sexual arousal in our partner. Oral sex, however, is like intercourse or anal sex. It is a means in which to quench our desire. If foreplay is the appetizer then sex – including oral sex – is the main course. And while pleasuring our partner’s genitals orally may be a sexual act in and of itself, it can also be a transitional activity. Like when we change sex positions during lovemaking.  The key to remember is that however we choose to stimulate our partner’s genitals –   manually, orally or with our own genitals – it is always more successful and satisfying when foreplay is first achieved.

So perhaps if we stopped thinking of oral sex as just one of a myriad methods of foreplay and instead recognized it as the intimate sexual act that it is, we would not only likely find it more enjoyable, we may even be more inclined to acquire the patience, precision and skill required to do it well. Study the anatomy and the erogenous zones and talk to your lover about preferences and fantasies. These suggestions are guaranteed to invigorate your sex life! Relax and enjoy practicing! Practice makes perfect!




One thought on “Oral….Sex? or Foreplay?”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *