The clitoris has only one function. One singular, delicious purpose. To provide a woman with pleasure. This marvel of human anatomy may look tiny but it actually extends about two centimeters inside a woman’s body. And although made with the same tissue as a penis, it is made with twice the amount – about 8,000 – sensory nerve fibers.
Located at the top of the vulva or pussy, just above the urethra (pee hole), is the most sensitive part of the clitoris – the glans. Despite being highly responsive to various forms of stimulation, it can still be quite temperamental. Yet the man who takes the time to learn this little button of female joy will soon discover how to truly arouse her and send her spiraling toward orgasmic bliss!
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For this sensual expedition, you will need the following:
A private place containing a bed, chaise or upholstered chair
Soft music and lighting, scented candles or incense to help set the mood (optional)
A couple of pillows and a towel
At least 20 minutes of uninterrupted adult play time
A water-based lubricant (or if you prefer, coconut oil is always a good, safe choice)
Once she is seduced properly, and her clothing is removed, she should be placed in a position where both of you will be comfortable for the duration of this exercise. I suggest she is laying on her back with her head on a small pillow and a fairly thick pillow under her lower back and bottom with a towel on it to raise her hips up. It should be a position where she can easily open her legs to you and you can view and caress her velvety mound without effort. This is a perfect time to adore her pussy and tell her how beautiful she is and how much you desire her. Make sure your nails are filed or cut short and hands are clean, soft and warm.
Begin by slowly kissing and stroking her lower belly, hips and inner thighs. When you feel your partner become relaxed, add ample lubricant to both your fingers and her vulva, paying particular attention to the clitoral area. Spend a few minutes softly petting and rubbing your partner’s clitoris and vagina. Be sure to ask her if what you are doing feels good to her.
Keep in mind that not all women find direct stimulation of the visible clitoris glans pleasurable, so it is best to apply your touch to the clitoral hood – that fold of skin that protects and covers the delicate bud underneath. Start from the outer area where her thighs meet her vulva and massage, stroke, and kiss working your way inward.
Imagining that her clitoris is a clock – with twelve o’clock at the top nearest her belly – and using one or two well-lubricated fingers, begin to circle her clitoris in a clockwise direction.
Once you have slowly repeated this circular motion several times, begin asking your partner to comment as you stimulate each of the twelve number or clock positions. Ask her to describe the intensity of sensations for each “time” position – one o’clock, two o’clock, three o’clock, etc. – using a scale of one to five. For example, one means little sensation or uncomfortable, two means slightly pleasurable, three means pleasurable, four means very pleasurable with five reserved for the most pleasurable sensations; the one that is likely to trigger an orgasm if further stimulation occurs. She can either speak her descriptions or signal you by her breathing, writhing, and moans. What ever she is most comfortable with. Watch her face, her hands and her toes. Be focused on her and in tune with her body.
Now according to some sex experts, the upper left quadrant of the clitoris is the most sensitive spot. However, I have found that a different clock position is far more satisfying for me personally. It may be the same for your partner too. So do not rely solely on what the sexperts have to say. This is another example of why communication is so important. Of course with twelve potential hotspots and four possible quadrants for pleasure available, it is easy to understand why this exercise is so beneficial. It may also explain why most women automatically use a circling motion when stimulating their clitoris during solo sex.
Continue the slow circular clockwise motion using different strokes and pressure as you continue getting her reaction, be it moans, sighs, wiggles or words. Remember that her little bud is highly sensitive so stimulation should be done with tenderness in the beginning. Once she becomes aroused, she may want you to apply stronger, more intense pressure.
Try moving your fingers in tighter and tighter circles around her clitoris leaning the palm of your hand on her vaginal area. Or consider alternating between manual and oral stimulation. Use your tongue to gently flick and swirl in a clockwise motion. No teeth! Use your mouth to kiss and nibble in the same circular motion while you slide your fingers inside her vagina and rub her G-spot. Make sure she continues to communicate exactly how everything feels and which kind of stimulation she likes best.
Continue your manual and oral play until she achieves orgasm. This can take anywhere from five to thirty minutes, or more depending on the woman. It is likely that as she becomes increasingly aroused, her clitoris will become engorged, erect and more visible. For many women, her little joy button will actually rise up to where it may look like its disappearing back into the folds of skin above and around it just prior to orgasm.
If you are especially observant to these changes, you can then prolong her pleasure and increase the intensity of her orgasm simply by changing how and where along the “clock” you stimulate her clitoris. This is edging.
As an added bonus to this sensual expedition around her luscious little bud, you will now have a mental map to her most pleasurable hotspots which you can access with ease and certainty in the future. Take mental notes and you will know her individual way to orgasmic bliss every time! Don’t forget the after care and enjoy your home work!