Variety Is The Spice Of Life!

One of the most frequent sexual complaints of married and long-term couples is boredom. Routine, predictable sex often occurs because couples stop their sexual exploration and experimentation. Many also lose their sense of adventure and humour when it comes to sexual play –  especially when the sex gets a little tricky –preferring to stick with the tried and true. Adding variety to your sex life need not be complicated or scary; just consider it a really fun way to try different types of sexual stimulation to help spark a diminishing libido. And remember that sex is much-needed adult play time so approach it with an air of curiosity, excitement and joy.

Ready to add some variety to your sex life but not sure where to start?  I have made up a list of 75 things people can do sexually with their partner. Consider this more of a “Spicy Activities List” encouraging you to try various items more than once in order to get their full benefit instead of a “Bucket List” with its try-once-and-move-on approach.

You can print off two copies of this list and give one to your partner. Each of you can then spend some time privately to complete your list and then compare your responses with each other. It is a great way to talk about the things you each want to try as well as where your interests differ. Open honesty and an absence of judgment will go a long way in this exercise.

You could also turn this exercise into a game by printing off this list and placing it in your partner’s lunch bag or sending it to them via phone or computer making them guess which activities are a “Yes” for you. It is also a great way to arouse and titillate your partner.


As you read through the list, simply mark each item as either a “Yes”, “No” or “Maybe” (Activities are listed in alphabetical order.)

  1. Anal Sex
  2. Anal Play
  3. Attend a Sex Party
  4. Bath Together
  5. Bondage
  6. Blindfolded Sex
  7. Breast Play
  8. Costumes
  9. Cyber Sex
  10. Delaying Gratification
  11. Dirty Sex Talk
  12. Domination & Submission
  13. Dry Humping
  14. Erotic Massage
  15. Erotic Food Play
  16. Erotica – Watching
  17. Erotica – Reading
  18. Erotica – Writing
  19. Exhibitionism
  20. Fantasy Play
  21. Fun with Fetishes
  22. Going Comando
  23. Go Parking
  24. Go Skinny Dipping
  25. Go to a Strip Club – As a Couple
  26. Go to a Sex Club – As a Couple
  27. Group Sex/Swinger’s Club
  28. Hair Pulling/Tugging
  29. Have Loud Sex/Have Quiet Sex
  30. Have Sex Three Times in One Day
  31. Have Sex Every Day for One Month
  32. Kissing
  33. Kitchen Sex
  34. Lap Dance – Give
  35. Lap Dance – Receive
  36. Licking Various Body Parts
  37. Lingerie Shopping – As a Couple
  38. Make Out Session – No Intercourse for at Least an Hour
  39. Masturbation – Solo
  40. Masturbation – Mutual
  41. Middle Of The Night Sex
  42. New Sex Locations
  43. New Sex Positions
  44. Office Sex
  45. Oral Sex
  46. Orgasm At The Same Time
  47. Outdoor Sex
  48. Phone Sex
  49. Playful Restraint
  50. Play Sex Games
  51. Pornography – Watching
  52. Pornography – Making your Own
  53. Pose Naked for the Camera
  54. Quickies
  55. Role-Play
  56. Rough Sex
  57. Sensual Biting/Nibbling
  58. Sexting
  59. Sex Against A Wall
  60. Shaving Each Other’s Genitals
  61. Shop at a Sex Shop – Alone
  62. Shop At A Sex Shop – As A Couple
  63. Shower Sex
  64. Skip Work to Have Sex
  65. Slow, Sensual Sex
  66. SM (Erotic Pain Play)
  67. Spanking
  68. Strip Tease
  69. Tantric Sex
  70. Thirty Minutes or More of Foreplay
  71. Threesome
  72. Trigger A Non Genital Orgasm (trust me it can happen)
  73. Use Sex Toys – On Self
  74. Use Sex Toys – On Partner
  75. Voyeurism
  76. If You Have Other Ideas Please Let Me Know

As you consider ways to add variety to your sex life, keep in mind that you’ll achieve greater success and confidence through a series of small changes rather than jumping right into radical sex. Take your time, experiment, explore and most of all…enjoy the journey! Have fun!



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